Engaging Your Inner Power

Engaging Your Inner Power To Change

(Published in the Bigfork Eagle Health & Fitness Magazine 2/22/01)

by Gayle North, C.Ht.
Hypnotherapy & NLP Coaching

"I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me."
- George Bernard Shaw

There are some principals at work as we begin to make positive change in our lives. In our personal coaching work using the tools of NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and Hypnotherapy, we employ some presuppositions inherent in the NLP modality. We provide education to help clients take advantage of the structure of their thinking and the way their personal model of the world is set up. We view each of the following aspects of the change process as pieces of the puzzle in creating a new way of being in the world. All of the techniques used can support medical intervention or the individual who wants to make changes with the assistance of educational coaching.

Revising our model or map of the world is a key piece of the puzzle. To simplify the vast world outside of us it, we use our senses to explore and map it. Our map then generates our behaviors on the basis of what we perceive in our personal model of the world. It makes sense then, to revise our map or our model of the world first, as we move toward changing a behavior. "People are always making the best choices available to them in their personal map or model of the world." (NLP Presupposition.)

Often we see people trying to force themselves into compliance with a new goal by mistakenly giving themselves orders like, "You are not going to smoke anymore", "Don’t smoke, don’t smoke, don’t smoke". The more we repeat this kind of an order to ourselves or another person, the more ingrained the unwanted habit will become. We cannot even interpret the statement unless we think about smoking first. Once we think about smoking we will want a cigarette. These types of statements actually hypnotize us and have the effect of intensifying our desire for the habit. To make matters worse, when we weaken and smoke a cigarette, we punish ourselves with defeating words like, "You are so weak,." or "You are so dumb, you know all the reasons you should quit smoking."

Unless our imagination has been enlisted in the process so that we now see and define our self as a nonsmoker, there will be a struggle between the willpower and our imagination. The imagination always wins those battles, so if we see ourselves as weak or dumb, we will create more of the behaviors that support those images of ourselves.

Discovering our purpose, mission, and capabilities supports us as we create a new life – a new way of being in the world. As we align our imagination and create new images - a new model of our life – these new images become the picture on the top of the box so we know what the puzzle is supposed to look like when it is finished. Without this picture, putting the puzzle together is very difficult if not impossible. In other words, if we are unable to imagine a life without our dependencies, we cannot manifest such a life in the physical world. Once our imagination is fully engaged, the limiting thoughts of our dependencies no longer dominate, and the picture of the new life becomes like a magnet attracting all of the pieces to it.

We have a sign in our office that reads:

The truth of this statement is demonstrated everyday as people give up lifelong habits using NLP and Hypnosis – habits that some consider addictions. Using these methods, most people make the changes with ease and comfort in contrast to the "no pain-no gain" philosophy that so perversely pervades our society and the typical approach to personal change.

Resolving inner conflicts is another important piece of the personal growth puzzle. What do we do when one part of us wants to do one thing, while another part of us wants us to do something else? Using NLP we can reach a satisfying and comfortable resolution to inner conflict without compromising either part.

Discovering the positive intentions behind the behavior is an important aspect of the conflict resolution process. "Underlying every behavior is a positive intent", is another NLP Presupposition. It is usually a life changing discovery to realize the specific positive intent of the part of us that generates a behavior such as substance abuse or other forms of dependency.

We are, perversely, used to beating up on ourselves and looking for evil intent or negativity within ourselves. Most people feel a flood of compassion and appreciation for the part of themselves that has been generating these behaviors once they find out that it is really trying to produce, however misdirected, something positive for them.

Creating new supportive behaviors that serve the positive intent of the part that was generating the dependency behavior is another piece of the puzzle for positive change. The creative part of ourselves, the part that is giving us the desire to make a change and express more of our potential in the world, can give us inspiration and instruction when we open up to the idea of adopting some new ways of satisfying our needs.

Recovering from shame and guilt is another piece of the puzzle. "Shame is being recognized as a toxic emotion that binds people to their addictions and co-dependency. Understanding how to rapidly and gracefully transform these destructive emotions into an empowering sense of self is key to moving into a new way of being." Heart of the Mind by Steve and Connirae Andreas

Change can be an elegant and gentle process, one in which the magnet of our highest possibilities is steadily drawn to the magnet inherent in our hearts desire to become more of who we are…a way of being where things that are bad for us will not tempt us.