Your Body: Friend or Foe

Your Body: Friend or Foe?

by Gayle A. North

“When you make it your goal to create the perfect relationship between you and your body, you are learning to have a perfect relationship with anyone you are with, including your mother, your friends, your lover, your children, your dog.

When you have the perfect relationship between you and your body, in that moment your half of any relationship outside you is completely fulfilled.”  - from The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

The first time I met with (I’ll call her Sheila) who came to me to lose weight, she expressed concern that clearing the issues that keep her fat could adversely affect her marriage.  She was experiencing some irritation with her husband and was afraid that she would discover more conflict and more discontent.  

Sheila cleared some old trapped emotional energy that had been causing cravings for foods that were sabotaging her weight and her health.  Old limiting beliefs about herself that had haunted her since her brothers teased and taunted her in adolescence vanished. 

In the place of the old limiting beliefs, she firmly established the real truth about herself.   A clear realization of her true capabilities and confidence in her power to recreate her body were emerged from under all the layers of self doubt and criticism.

As her relationship with her body improved, so did her relationship with her husband.  The love and passion she felt for her husband early in their relationship returned – to the delight of them both.  Sheila says that she is now living in a more continual state of appreciation and acceptance of her body feeling more passion for her life – and for her husband.   

One of my recent classes focused on body issues.   I showed a taped excerpt from Oprah Winfrey's show, “Breaking out of the Box.”  It features Tangela Story, a mother of two children, who had been on the weight roller-coaster (between size 12 and size 24) for many years.  She described her feelings of shame and guilt and her obsessive focus on her bodyweight.  “I withdrew from my husband and my kids.  I even missed my son’s games because I had nothing to wear that I felt good enough in.  I felt so ashamed.  I saw myself as someone ugly, I saw someone fat.” 

Tangela could see that she was causing suffering in her family and she herself had become so miserable that she decided to make a change.  She decided to learn to love herself and to stop the suffering. 

She took a bold step to break out of the box of body shame she had created for herself.  Running through her neighborhood wearing a bikini, she "let it all hang out."  She rang doorbells and stopped and talked to drivers in the street.  She told everyone that she was declaring her freedom from worrying about being overweight.  It is inspiring to watch this brave, crazy woman give herself to permission to be proud of her “plus size” body. 

She appeared after her "break out" with Oprah to describe how the experience changed her life.  She was glowing inner joy and with excitement for her life. She was dressed in leather pants and a matching jacket.  She stood up and showed off her beautiful outfit. 

Best of all, her family was in the audience and they expressed their own joy to have their mom feeling good about herself so she could also be close to them again.  Oprah commented to Tangela’s husband that it looked like the spark was back in their relationship.  His reply; "It is a full blown fire, not a spark!”

If you are not able to graciously receive love and admiration from your family and friends – heal your wounds and open your heart. 

If you find yourself caught up in self criticism – stop it now. 

If you get the idea that people see you as being more beautiful or smarter or more loving than you know yourself to be - check out your perspective for error.  What they see in you is probably closer to the divine truth of who you are.  The limitations you argue for may be the illusion.

“Break Out of Your Box” and step into a higher truth about yourself.  Tossing your old box to the wind is probably the greatest gift you can give to the people who love you.